- Sometimes it seems as though when someone in your neighborhood, family, or social circle gets a divorce, others tend to head down the same path. Is the grass really greener on the other side? If divorce is sounding like a tempting option, here are some things you may wish to consider:
o No two divorces are the same – just as no two couples and no two families are the same. In a divorce, the differences matter a lot.
o “My friend receives/pays $7,500/month in spousal support!” Maybe so, but that is no indication of what will happen in your case. Yours and your spouse’s age, financial situation, work history, education, length of marriage, health, and a host of other factors, will influence how spousal support is determined, whether by settlement or in a Court setting. The details of the amount, duration, and whether support will even be ordered are complicated and will vary widely. It is impossible to know at the beginning what the outcome will be.
o “My friends tell me 50/50 custody is the law.” The phrase “50/50” is often heard in conversation; however, the reality is much more involved. There is no cookie-cutter approach to custody. The schedule that works for another family may be totally different than what would work for your family. Such factors as the ages of your children, geographical distance between households, work schedules, special needs, sports and other activities, and the relationships you have with one another will all play a part in determining the best plan.
o “I heard I get half of everything…right?” Well, maybe. The division of your assets and debts is directly affected by the details. The law on property division is fact-driven and the smallest differences can matter greatly. Inheritances, separate property before marriage, changes in title, property loans, student loans, when property was acquired and debts arose, gifts to or between spouses, business interests, and many other factors must be considered before the final division is made.
- Your life after divorce may not be what you’ve envisioned. Careful consideration of a decision as big as this one is critical. Just because your friend or relative got a result that looks tempting to you is no guarantee that the same thing outcome happen for you.
Deborah Ewing, Wendy Jones, and Elaine Thompson are all experienced family law attorneys in the Los Angeles area, and are members of A Better Divorce, a Collaborative Family Law Practice Group.