First, take a deep breath. Realize that stress and emotions, from anger to frustration to loss, are a natural part of this life transition. You may feel overwhelmed, but you will live through this.

Find some support. Friends and relatives can be helpful, but a spiritual advisor, a counselor, or divorce professional may be a better choice. Be on guard for bad advice from well-meaning people who may be reacting from their own issues rather than what may be best for you.

Do some research. There are many resources to help you with your particular concerns. See the Resources section of this website to start.

Choose your path. Traditional court divorce is only one option. In fact, more and more people today are choosing some form of collaborative divorce or California “no court” divorce in order to keep matters private, reduce costs and replace bitter fighting with a more respectful process.

Consider others that may be affected. If you have young children, this is especially stressful for them. While you are in turmoil, the services of a child specialist can bring huge benefits to you and the people you love.

Contact a professional. In today’s divorce process, you may choose to begin with a mental health professional specializing in divorce, a neutral financial specialist trained in helping sort out income and assets, or an attorney or mediator to deal with the legal aspects of the process. Any one of these collaborative professionals can discuss your concerns, and help you develop a process where you stay in control and work toward your best outcome.

Maybe it’s time to consider a California No Court Divorce for you and your family.