Three Paths Through Divorce
California law recognizes several approaches to divorce. The right one depends on your circumstances, your relationship with your spouse, the complexity of your finances, whether children are involved, and how much control you want over the outcome. Here is an honest overview of the three approaches that protect your interests with professional guidance.
OPTION 1
Litigation
Litigation is the traditional adversarial process. Each spouse hires an attorney, communication runs primarily through counsel, and a judge ultimately resolves any contested issue. Litigation is expensive, public (court filings are public record), and removes most of the control over the outcome from the parties themselves. It is appropriate in cases of intractable conflict or where one party refuses to participate in good faith. For most other situations, the alternatives below produce better outcomes at lower cost.
OPTION 2
Mediation
Mediation uses a neutral third party to guide the couple through their own settlement. The parties communicate directly, in the presence of the mediator. Consulting attorneys and financial specialists can and often should participate alongside the mediator to ensure both parties have independent legal advice and a clear understanding of the financial picture. Mediation is generally less expensive than litigation, private, and flexible. It works best when both parties have a reasonable grasp of the finances and a functional enough relationship to negotiate.
OPTION 3
Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce is a structured process built around an interdisciplinary team. Each spouse has their own attorney. Financial specialists and mental health professionals are involved from the start. Both attorneys sign a contractual commitment not to take the case to court. Collaborative is designed for complexity and designed to function in conflict. It is the best fit for families with children, couples with significant or complicated assets, those who require privacy, and any situation where structure and professional guidance are needed to keep negotiations productive.
| Factor | Litigation | Mediation | Collaborative |
|---|---|---|---|
| Court involvement | High • Multiple court hearings • Temporary orders may be required | None to low • No or limited court appearances • Required documents still need to be filed with the court | None to low • No or limited court appearances • Required documents still need to be filed with the court |
| Privacy | None • Hearings and filed documents are public record | High • No or limited court appearances • Filings are limited to required documents • Financial disclosures remain private | High • No or limited court appearances • Filings are limited to required documents • Financial disclosures remain private |
| Control over outcome | None • Judge is the decision-maker | High • Spouses make the decisions • Outcome is tailored to the family’s needs and goals | High • Spouses make the decisions • Outcome is tailored to the family’s needs and goals |
| Professional team | • Two attorneys • Two financial professionals • Custody evaluator/minor’s counsel | • One attorney-mediator or co-mediation team with attorney-mediator, neutral financial specialist, and family/child specialist, as needed | • Two collaborative attorneys • One neutral financial specialist • One child/family specialist • One or two divorce coaches |
| Best for | • Severe imbalance of power • Denial of parenting time • Asset liquidation • Restriction of financial access • Safety risks • Child abuse or endangerment • People who want a law-driven or court-determined outcome | • People who want to resolve matters out of court • Ability to be open and transparent • Ability to communicate directly with spouse with mediator supervision • Ability to advocate for yourself • Spouses who share core values and want to preserve a future relationship as co-parents or otherwise • People who want a tailored, interest-based outcome | • People who want to resolve matters out of court • Want their own legal advisors • Seek a goals-driven outcome • Want a more complete understanding of the financial picture • Willingness to be transparent and explore options beyond strictly legal outcomes • Particularly appropriate for complex legal, financial, or emotional cases |
Please note that these are general descriptions intended for comparison purposes only. Every case is different, and the appropriate approach will depend on the specific circumstances, needs, and goals of the individuals involved.