Mother and daughter sitting on couch talking.

Why Waiting to Divorce When the Kids Are Older Isn’t Always What’s Best for Them

We have seen this scenario play out way too often in many families – the couple stays married for the children’s sake. They feel that holding the marriage together will help their children. However, the reality is children can be hurt more often when this occurs.

Divorce is hard, there’s no doubt about it, but subjecting children, no matter their age, to a high-conflict marriage for years on end can be harmful to children, and here’s why:

  • Children grow best in a stable and structured environment, no matter their age
  • Constant emotional turmoil makes children feel they are the reason you are staying together – this puts an enormous emotional strain on them
  • Constant arguing and fighting, whether emotional or physical, can cause irreparable emotional harm and poor self-esteem for your children
  • Often, staying together will not provide your family with the dependability, love or care they need.  Getting divorced may allow for painful emotions to be processed in a healthier manner and allow healing to occur.
  • Remember: there is not a “right” age to begin the divorce process – it will be hard for you and your children no matter what.  But good things can come from difficult decisions.

Parents always fear that a divorce will cause irreparable harm to their child’s emotional wellbeing. Both of you CAN agree to work to minimize negative impacts by using the collaborative divorce process instead of a protracted litigation process.

In a collaborative divorce there can be a mental health professional and child life specialist working with you who can help you, your spouse, and your child work through the feelings that divorce brings out and help you develop a custody plan that keeps your family’s emotional wellbeing at the forefront.

A Better DivorceTM is an interdisciplinary group of professionals who are committed to non-court, non-confrontational solutions for family law matters.

We will provide you with access to qualified professionals who can help you determine if the collaborative divorce process is right for you and your family. Contact us today!

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or mental health advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, mental health or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.

Posted in Children of Divorce, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce.