The information contained in these articles is of general interest, and should not be relied on for specific advice in your case.

Keeping Johnny out of the Middle

By Susan F Schwartz, L.C.S.W. Avoid fighting when children are around Practice Anger Management Walk away when either party angry Do deep breathing and positive self-talk to calm down Allow partner to have the last word if necessary, just walk away! Recognize people are not thinking clearly when angry and are saying things they don’t   really mean Wait for calmness and only then return to the issue Don’t confide in children Be aware of the whereabouts of your children-don’t talk about issues they shouldn’t hear when they’re around. Don’t bad mouth your spouse/ex to children, and coach family and friends […]

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Divorce, Remarriage, and Taxes

By Ron J. Anfuso, CPA, ABV, CDFA, DABFA The statistics are startling. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, more than half of the people who have been divorced remarry, although recent surveys have found that nearly 60% of these marriages break up as well. Without a doubt, these events can make tax paying ever more complex. This article briefly explains the tax implications of divorce and remarriage. Filing Status Marital status is an important factor in determining income and estate tax liabilities. Marital status is determined on the last day of the tax year. So if a marriage […]

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Telling the Children

By Steven Reiter Ph.D. and Paula Van Doren LCSW Under the best of circumstances divorce is a profound trauma for everyone involved. Telling the Children  is a moment that the child (unless they are very young) will remember for the rest of their lives.  WE have a very strong bias.  Our bias is that the welfare of the children is primary.  Their needs should be put in the forefront.  In this brief article we wish to present information to assist you in helping your children to receive and to respond to the traumatic news that their parents are divorcing.  Let […]

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Advice From the Front Line

advice from adult children of divorced parents To Parents: Keep your differences away from the kids so they don’t have to listen to it, and don’t make them make choices or choose between each other and don’t screw with the kids’ minds. Don’t put the kids in the middle; don’t make kids the jury; don’t make visitation difficult; don’t speak ill of the other parent. Kids don’t care whose fault it is. Don’t blame each other. Each of you is responsible. Keep your differences private. Don’t let the kids hear it and don’t make the kids feel guilty. Don’t make […]

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Collaborative Divorce: Avoid Criticism of Co-Parent

A COACH HELPS A FATHER LEARN: COMPLIMENTING INSTEAD OF CRITICIZING A father desperately wanted joint custody of his young children. The mother had reservations because he had never spent much time with the children. He persisted in pointing out his strengths and her faults. In frustration he criticized her parenting. She responded by threatening to seek sole custody. The coach suggested a break, and asked him what he really wanted. He said, “I want to be able to take care of my children; I need to spend time with them.” A different strategy was suggested. Rather than criticize their mother, […]

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